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yes, this is true. i am m night shyamalan

So one of two things is true:

1) Any movie by M. Night Shyamalan is predictable and formulaic.


2) I am some actually M. Night Shyamalan and hence know the plots of all of his movies before seeing them.

Wait, #2 can’t be right because if I ever wrote a movie I wouldn’t be so pretentious as to put myself in it, even though I can’t act. Nor would I ever insist upon being called M. Night Anythingalan. Well, I might have in high school, if I had thought of it.

Anyway, on my way to Washington – where, apparently, I now live – Alaskan Airlines offered a small little digital video player you could use during the flight. Since it’s a 4 hour flight, I figured it was worth it. It is actually pretty neat, it’s about the size of a portable DVD player but has about 5 movies and a bunch of TV and music on it — all encoded in DiVX according to one of the notices on the back. (One other thing it had on it – a consistent misuse of it’s on the label).

I started out watching “The Village.” At this point I will tell you how to determine the end of absolutely any M. Night movie – the first thing to happen will actually be relevant to the ending (imagine that!). For example, in Sixth Sense, a guy gets shot. Hey, maybe he’s dead. Or some weird kid sips cups of water and leaves them all over the place. Maybe they’ll kill the aliens.

Or if some pretentious idiot who Hollywood seems to throw money at films a movie filmed in “olde Pennsylvania” yet NOTHING looks old and the language is forced at best… hey, maybe there’s something to that.

Since if I don’t stop now I’ll start pointing out some other idiotic notions of the movie, I’m going to move on.

Saturday Night Live is stupid. I believe I just spent 5 minutes watching a sketch that basically had the premise “the sound leather clothing makes is funny.” It reminds me of Garfield – clearly whoever is behind it has gone brain dead, but it’s just been around so long nobody wants to point out that the guy’s lower brain has stopped functioning.

So off of rant mode, I noticed something – sometimes the funniest joke is the one you’ll see coming. And not only that, you’ll laugh before they even tell the joke because you know it’s coming and you know it’s going to be funny.

I noticed this while watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force – Master Shake was saying something along the lines of “at least we still have power and each other.” The power goes out, and it’s obvious what the next line is going to be, but the delivery was so perfect.

Well, maybe not as funny as the noise leather makes! Wow!

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  1. Anonymous Anonymous

    yay…now we can Jim-proof the state. 😛

    Ok, we are even now.

  2. Nick Nick

    At first, I didn’t watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force, now it may be my favorite of the Adult Swim shows. Direct TV has it listed as a Drama, and animation. Which amuses me as much as the show. Maybe the person who writes those guide discriptions takes orders from the great Orbnoticous.

  3. Make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream. At first I didn’t watch that show, but now it’s probably my favorite Adult swim show. Also, I noticed last night that the DirectTV discription of the show has it listed as a Drama and animation. I think the person who writes that may be under the influence of the great orbnoticous.

  4. Jim Jim

    Same here, I didn’t start watching it until I met someone over the summer who liked the show a lot and gave me rips of all the episodes. It has its moments, certainly.

    By the way, your first comment didn’t appear because apparently you’re connecting from Philip and Morris, so it thinks you’re spamming cigarrete ads. Ha!

  5. Yeah, well, from Kraft foods which in some way is connected with the distributers of sin sticks…

    So yeah. I started watching it because with this later shift I’ve been staying up late. I’d watch family guy, and Futurama, and then there was nothing else on, so I’d be doing something on the computer and jsut not bother to change the station.. then I got addicted.. good times.

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