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be careful what you write

This may be the first time I’ve had an entry in mind before a title for the entry. It’ll be interesting to see how, exactly, it pans out.

Overheard around dinner time:

Shane: “She broke a dating etiquette law.” (If I spelled that right, I’m impressed).

Brian: Some boring crap that nobody paid attention to.

Shane: Starts to say something else, who cares.

I decide to ask what ettiquette law his date had broken. I think I was just hoping for another excuse to mock him for having opened a can of soda he dropped and then being amazed it exploded and he lost three quarters of his drink (how an engineer can be surprised at this, I’m not sure).

“She ordered a meal that was $4 more than mine when I was paying,” Shane told me.

I couldn’t think of a response to this but Brian did.

“Why were you even paying for her in the first place?”

Shane had agreed to pay for the date in exchange for companionship, not a bad deal for him, you’ll agree, especially if you know Shane. Personally I don’t see the big problem in paying if the girl doesn’t mind — especially at the beginning of a relationship, as it aids in the swooning process — but Brian seems to think it’s a sin of some kind.

Personally, I don’t see how a guy on a first date can look at a girl and go “okay, so you owe $10.50.” Although strangely enough I can see Brian doing it.

Anyway, my main point is if this “etiqutte” law exists, I sincerely doubt it applies to theme resturaunts. Buying some crappy food at Olive Garden that costs a few dollars more than whatever else is not going to break the bank. I think this rule might more be aimed at lobster to burger imbalances. Not, uh, pasta to pasta with extra sauce or whatever Olive Garden serves.

It’s such a small thing it’s not worth getting worked up about. Heck, maybe next time you go to eat she’ll just get french toast and about a gallon of water and even things out.

Do normal people really pay attention to these things? It just seems so trivial. Fortunately for me chicken fingers tend to be reasonably priced no matter the restaurant.

What would happen if you offered to pay and just got a free bread basket? That would be awesome.

Published inTrue Stories


  1. First, let me resolve any ambiguity – Shane dropped his soda then opened it. He’s the pop dropper.

    Onward to explaining my viewpoint on paying for dinner!

    I only asked why Shane paid because I believed it was a non-date, as per his previous encounters with Tara.

    Next, I would never ask a girl to pay, ever. I agree that on the first date it is the guy’s responsibility to pick up the check, since it is usually he who asks the girl to accompany him to dinner.

    It’s true that I’ve gotten used to going dutch since every girl I’ve dated usually insists on paying for part of the evening’s expenses. While this may not sound romatic, it can be so. For instance, the guy could pay for one date and then the gril can pay next time. A recipricol agreement of treating each other to a good time. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, it’s great.

    I suspect that I’m outgrowing the whole letting the girl pay for her half thing anyway. The reason people do it when they’re younger is because they don’t have any money and just don’t care about old fashioned courting rituals. Now that I’m a little more mature (and have a little more green) I wouldn’t mind at all nearly always picking up the tab.

    This is not to say that I don’ t believe that women can pay or that they’re in some way inferior or should be submissive to men. You all know I’m not like that.

    Also, I should say that I would never date anyone who ever *expects* me to always pay.

    Yep, that’ll do it I think.

  2. Jim Jim

    The half/half thing I can accept. I just think it’s tacky to split up every meal… seems silly and a waste of time.

    Perhaps it even shows distrust. “I don’t think you’ll be around for the next meal” kind of thing.

  3. dan dan

    My view is that who ever ask the person out on the date should have to pay. This goes durring that first akward getting to know you phase of dating before it is assumed that you are going to go out everyweekend. Of course, I don’t expect anything and am always prepared to cover all expenses, either that or run away very quickly.

    once the stage where you still have to ask them if they’d like to go out is over, then it’s no longer assumed who will pay, and who ever feels like paying just pays.

    In the one relationship i had that got this point worked out pretty well, and we were both happy, and conten with it.

    Of course, the $4 rule that Shane mentioneed is complete bullshit. It is like Jim pointed out, Lobster to hamburger, and it’s more like $10.

    Just remember this is Shane we’re talking about, and he makes up his own rules as he goes along, and doesn’t tell anyone and then gets pissed when they are broken.

  4. Jim Jim

    Do you think I should reverse the comment order?

  5. me.... homestar.... Wrunner.. homestarruner me.... homestar.... Wrunner.. homestarruner

    after a while of dateing it is more like our money rather then mine or hers so in the beguaning i could see wanting to pay for every thing but after dateing for a while it is like prety much who ever has the money becasue the other person might just not ahve gone to the bank that day or you know spent to much on his last video game and so will not have that kind of money till next payday etc etc

    not that that has evfer happened to me

  6. Marzapan Marzapan

    you spent your money on a video game?! and i had to pay for your dinner because you spent your money on a video game…Ha!

    j/k it was only a dollar anyway..oh and please,please jim, change the comment order…

  7. Jim Jim

    I’ve reversed the comment order so… there you go.

  8. CC CC

    wow, i’m amazed at how fast the comment order was reversed….shocked even…its nice to have someone update their web page on a regular basis…….unlike some people…….SHANE!

  9. shane shane

    first off, i’d like to note that i didn’t make an exceptional deal of it at the time. it was more in a joking around sense. however, it’s still a legitimate rule of etiquette. i really don’t care, cos lord knows i’m hardly miss manners, i was jut making an observation. and yes, whoever does the asking out should do the paying. and yes, the alternating check picking-up is a nice arrangement. second, dan, what the hell are you talking about? what rules do i make up? seriously though. third, has anyone else noticed that trying to read andy’s typing is like trying to decipher some avant garde dada poem? he’s like the accidental joyce, all stream of consciousness-like with his wretched spelling and total lack of grammatical devices

  10. Jim Jim

    It doesn’t matter if you were joking or not, it’s something so inconsequential you shouldn’t even notice.

  11. This is how the comment order should be. Oldest comments on top – just like Shane’s. I think this has to be a record for “kite” comments, eh Jim?

  12. dan dan

    just a couple comments

    1) This is the way comments should be sorted in ascending(?) order. I always get ascending and descending confused.

    B) I like Andy’s free flow writihgn style, sure it makes it alittle bit more difficult to read, but he says what hes thinking and there’s not going back over it to follow the “proper” grammatical rules. Also who gives a rats ass about spelling? A wise man once said “anyone who can think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.” and we know andy isn’t lacking imagination.

    3) I can’t think of any other examples of “Shane rules” right now, but I do know that there have been times that you’ve had these warped notions of how things are/should be.

    that is all

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