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today is not enough for me, I want them all

I’ve been DDRing a bit more since I got new pads. I picked up the generics (of course) of these pads — two generics being half the cost of one ‘authentic’ aftermarket part. I was worried the soft insert would cause problems but, as it turns out, they’re surprisingly awesome. No bunching or sliding, really, makes for a much better dance.

I finally got a copy of Drummania… which I’ve wanted since before the PS2 even came out in the US. Good times, good times.

Unfortunately not all my crazy purchases work out so well.

Case in point below:

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The Lemonader. A mere $5 shipped from Amazon, I figured delcious lemonade was finally in my grasp.

Oh, a naive fool be I!

I feel foolhardy for not having pictures from the debacle that was brewing our first pitcher of lemonade. Words will just have to do.

First of all, it’s a strangely complicated procedure for making a drink that consists only of water, sugar, and lemon.

First the exact amount of water it tells you to add changes. I was told by fellow lemonade brewers that I just didn’t read well, but does this really seem a plausable reason for me screwing up? Doubtful.

The result of this was I poured in far too much water. “Oh no!” you might think “the pitcher is going to overflow and spill hot lemony water all over you! You’ll get burned!” No, kids, don’t worry. The fine people at LemonCorp knew of this danger and for that reason put a rather sizable hole where you pour the water in. So instead of having watered down lemonade you instead get water all over the place. The best part about the hole is it just comes straight out the back of the contraption. Not into any type of fail-safe mechanism which would catch the water pouring out at a rather rapid pace (seeing as they tell you to put in triple the water you actually need to).

Good design.

Well, whatever, we got that figured out so we turn it on and it starts to ‘brew’ the sugar water. I didn’t expect this but the Lemonader is much like a coffee machine, except instead of coffee grounds, it uses pure uncut sugar. Mmmm.

While this is going on you’re supposed to put some lemons onto that juicer at the top (this is where you could put, say, rats, if you were a vampire) so as to add essence to the Lemonade.

I start doing so. Everything’s fine until around the third lemon.

This is when the machine shoots hot steam at whomever is close enough to it to get painfully burned. Yep, if the water all over your kitchen doesn’t piss you off, they burn you too.

Nice.

So after tending to my third-degree burns and realizing I can no longer ream any more lemons (too dangerous!) we let the lemonade maker do its thing.

Aside from a pitcher of rather regular tasting lemonade, there was a nice pulpy mess that made me just want to jump up and make another pitcher.

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MMMMM!

Published inTrue Stories

5 Comments

  1. Anonymous Anonymous

    you are an updating machine this week Jim

  2. the one cop from family guy the one cop from family guy

    additional generic cop compliment Jim

  3. the one cop from family guy the one cop from family guy

    additional generic cop compliment Jim

  4. Brad Brad

    …how many retards does it take to make a pitcher of lemonade?

  5. Man, that still makes me laugh!

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