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eating pie for fun and profit

I guess trains just don’t work if it starts drizzling.

I had to take a different line because my primary method of getting to my internship had mechanical failures. Or mechanical problems. Or something that’s probably a mechanical engineer’s fault. Or that at least has the word mechanical in it.


As I sip my cold Starbucks tea, I ponder what to write.

My tea is very cold. See, Starbucks keeps their water at temperatures which can melt time. So I typically set it aside to cool off because my toungue has a much lower melting point than that of time. I then proceed to forget about it while I’m enraptured in my engaging work tasks, and then by the time I glance over at it, it has morphed with no outside forces into iced tea.

Which, I suppose, is good — Starbucks iced tea is $2 more than hot tea, so my tea has appreciated in value.

So, to Andy, who wants a scam to make big money — there you go. Put all your money in tea. It’s going to pay off huge.

Published inTrue Stories


  1. Andy Andy

    oh yeah i can see it rolling in now

    what would you say is the exact melting point of time?

  2. Brian Brian

    Well, we know the melting point of time is between 0 C and 100C, the respective freezing and boiling points of water. We know this because Jim mentions that the “water,” temperature is hot enough to melt time. Since water can only exist between 0 C and 100 C, the melting point of time must also be bounded by these extremes. This understood, time must melt quite often, since temperatures above 100 C often occur. I’ve often wondered what would happen if time could melt, now we know the answer: not much.

  3. Jim Jim

    Well, there’s a nice pedantic answer for you.

  4. Andy Andy

    thats freaking great brian

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