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I appear to be out of clever little stories.

This is a problem because I noticed I’m on quite a little update streak.

In the next few weeks, I have scheduled a camping trip (that I’m starting to not want to go on), a trip to cedar point (that I’m starting to not want to go on), and a flight then drive back from Washington.

Oh yeah, and then school starts.

I certainly do not want to go back to school. But at the same time I do not like honest working at all.

I’m going to take a cue from my chair and become a pimp.

Or, hey, I can make overpriced chairs.

Around the corner there was a man giving out a new (maybe, could have been around for years for all I know) beverage called “VitaminWater.” I snagged their “Energy” variety.


I was looking over their crappy website and realized why. Despite tasting like lightly flavored water (say, the complete opposite of a red bull), it has caffene, guarana, and some ginseng packed in for good measure.

Someone at this company must have realized they’ve packed in enough energy to kill a small bear cub, so they threw in some vitamins and try to sell it off as healthy.

In fact, it’s only sold at health food stores (meaning I’ll, sadly, probably never have another bottle).

Mmmm, water.

Published inTrue Stories


  1. Brian Brian

    Jim wrote: “I’m going to take a cue from my chair and become a pimp.”

    So the $1,300 chair talks, and what’s more it tells you to become a pimp? Well I don’t know how you could not listen to it. I’d get to pimpin’ right away if a chair told me to. In fact I’d do almost anything a talking chair would ask of me after taking a moment to say “Wow! A talking chair!”

  2. Jim Jim

    My chair doesn’t talk, that’d be crazy.

    No, my chair sells itself for money. I believe I mentioned this on one of my entries.

  3. andy andy

    yes upholstered seating overlords are our masters….

    but I fount said vitamin water at a 7-11 and you must have a drastically different physiology then I do because it did not make me go zing

    the tast was not bad though

  4. Jim Jim

    Which one did you get? The energy variety?

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