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ding-dong (the which is dead!)

Here’s a bit of a stream-of-consciousness post that won’t make a terrible much sense, I fear.

Let’s say you’re a person. And some mean old person, a pirate, if you wish, stabs you in the back. Pirates are cowardly and rude which is why I like the image of a pirate for this. Plus they’re not known for being terribly attractive.

So you and the pirate are getting along pretty well, you turn around, and he stabs you in the back. But you don’t realize he stabbed you in the back because it’s like… a cloaked dagger or something high-tech like that.

Okay so maybe you could picture instead of a pirate, a mosquito. You know how when they bite you, you can’t feel it? So it’s like that. But instead of just biting you, they, say, axe you in the head or something like that. But they still shoot out that pain-free ooze stuff that makes you itch a little so you don’t know you got axed in the head. It’s like that.

So you never realize that you have this big axe in your head. You can’t quite feel it… but you kind of know something isn’t right.

Time goes on, eventually you get around to taking a warm shower. As you’re putting some form of control goop in your hair, you notice, hey, there’s an axe in your head!

Doing what any logical person would do (although, logically, one shouldn’t have trusted the pirate again in the first place — bad people will continue to do bad things if you allow them) you take the axe out, and like go to the hospital, and that. So the axe is gone.

And you feel so much better. You never knew you felt like crap, you never knew you could feel that axe but it was really draining every little bit of life you had left in you. Once it’s removed you feel new. Alive. Reborn. All that jazz.

That, in probably far more words than I truly needed to use, is exactly how I feel now.

Published inTrue Stories

2 Comments

  1. you know who you know who

    This wouldn’t happen to be an obscure reference to “the incident” would it?

  2. Jim Jim

    Shut up, Dan.

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